If you didn’t have much dating luck last year, don’t let a little slump deter you from finding your dream girl in 2015. Because she’s out there—you just need to know how to find her. Follow these five sound strategies from relationship experts to snag your soul mate.
1. Take a Cue from Clinton
“If a man projects a confident, easygoing vibe, I don’t think he needs more than that approach,” says licensed psychotherapist and relationship counselor Chantal Gagnon, Ph.D. “Think about how Bill Clinton would approach a woman: Like a regular guy who’s comfortable with himself, has something to say, and is interested in her, too. He would approach you in that same way whether he was trying to sleep with you, to get a campaign contribution, or just to hang out and have a beer.”
2. Give It 3 Dates
One Match.com survey of more than 5,000 men and women found that 35 percent of people have fallen in love with someone even though, at first, they felt zero spark. “When we first meet a potential mate, we overweigh the few things we know about them,” says anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., chief scientific advisor to Match.com and author of Why Him? Why Her? The more time you spend with a would-be partner, the less you’ll fixate on the little things and the more you’ll see her as a complete person. Provided she’s not a horrible match, go on at least three dates to figure out if you have chemistry, Fisher advises.
3. Steer Clear of Dollar-Drink Night
There’s a reason you can’t find many “nice” girls at the club: You’re at the club! “Alcohol and good judgment are not good bedmates,” says Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., a Manhattan-based marriage therapist. “Alcohol interferes with a person’s ability to think logically and to avoid falling into unproductive patterns, like dating that really hot girl of dubious character.” Meanwhile, even if you’re sipping seltzer, many women enter bars with their guards up, says Steve Orma, Psy.D., a San Francisco-based clinical psychologist.
4. Prowl Her Natural Habitat
So what’s Plan B after the bar? Unfortunately, there’s no great-girl convention. All intelligent, funny, and sexy women have their own unique interests. To find where your perfect match is hiding, you need to think about how—and where—her type would spend her time. For instance, if you want a religious-minded woman, go to church. Searching for someone who can kick ass and take names on the job? Hit up a networking mixer. Though it sounds obvious, our experts say many men don’t consider this step.
5. Take Up a ‘Girly’ Hobby
Along the same lines, sign up for classes where you know you’ll be outnumbered by gorgeous women. “I used to take a cooking class that was also a meet-up and it was always like 11 women and one guy,” Gagnon says. (Bonus: Women love a man who knows his way around the kitchen.) Try your hand at a typically female-centric activity like Pilates or pottery—the competition is scarce, and you can play the part of an eager student looking for help.